remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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