bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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