dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
