It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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