I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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