Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
