ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
