i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
