Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
