According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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