Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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