shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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