So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
me + whiskey = a bad person
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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