All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
