Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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