god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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