You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
