THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
