there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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