He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
