therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize