so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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