ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
