i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
