There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
