And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
