i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
