OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
