your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
