maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
