My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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