so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
