my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just made my gag reflex go away.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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