I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
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I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
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I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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