Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
