I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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