I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
