grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
