so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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