i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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