How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize