Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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