Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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