my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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