just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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