hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
