My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
