Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Shame - the story of my life.
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