I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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