i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
