Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's official drugs can't kill me
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
