Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
