dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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