I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
