I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
