$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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