I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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