I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
